Life Skills in Schools

Stories	Photos	Back

RUNNING AWAY FROM LOVE

On the 30th of July after the peer education session we noticed that Nozipho did not attend the session.  Nozipho told us that the teachers had dismissed her, but one of the teachers begged the school to give Nozipho a second chance, hoping that she would change her attitude.

When the Yazini team spoke with Nozipho they discovered that lived with her granny as her parents passed away when she was 5years.  Her negative attitude towards teachers resulted from her grief and pain.  She refused to allow people to show her love as she feared that they would pass away that it would then cause her too much pain.  As Nozipho spoke, we found that she has also lost her sister and friend earlier this year.  Nozipho witnessed her friend being knocked by a car, and that was very tramatic for her.  She cried bitterly and asked us why she had to loose so many people that she loved and was so close to.  She felt that it would be best to protect herself by not allowing people to be close to her incase they also pass away. 

We discovered that Nozipho had not been for counselling so she was walking around with this heavy burden.  We spoke with the teachers and we are making plans to refer Nozipho to the social workers. fin.

 

SELF ACCEPTANCE

During the self awareness activity (Who Am I); a learner did not want to stand up and share what she had written. She eluded this activity due to the fact that her peers laugh at her because she failed grade 9.  She feels stupid. She has considered quitting school to run away from all of this. Learners apologised about the way they treated her, saying they were only joking.   Others were ignorant to the fact that it was a sensitive, personal issue as she never expressed her feelings about this.   Now that she let them know how she feels, they will never tease her. fin.

 

Lindi, (peer educator) went for counselling at Lifeline, as she had been raped. After receiving couselling, she began to open up about her personal life and felt the need to share her experience (of being raped) with a friend, Bongeka. Even though Bongeka is not part of peer education, Lindi told us that they have been friends for a long time. She felt that by sharing her secret with a friend, it would begin the healing process and she would get rid of some of the pain she had been feeling. As Lindi shared her story with Bongeka, Bongeka likewise shared that she had also been raped. She continued to tell Lindi that she was scared to share this as she felt embarrassed and that it would appear as her fault. Although Bongeka was afraid, she was driven to talk about her own pain. This proves to us that counselling and seeking help does help the healing process. It also shows that influencing people is good, especially when one receives counselling, and then postive influence through talking to friends. We see Lindi (a peer educator) who has dealt with her issues of rape and another learner (Bongeka) who has been inspired. Bongeka has been led to emulate it in her own life. She has gone as far as seeking help in her endeavour to practise the good lesson she learnt from a peer educator. This signals a huge shift of mindset, when one has been silent for three years living with hurt, yet decided to break the silence. This incident is viewed as a “power of positive influence by a peer”. fin.

 

A challenging situation arose at Sivananda High School. There was a reduction in the number of peer educators, yet a very high enrolment at the school.

One of the Yazini facilitators used initiative to put a creative plan together with the team! She (Silindile Dinangwe) was a peer educator whilst in high school and faced a similar challenge. This is how the Yazini facilitators handled the situation:

A meeting was held to discuss the reasons for the reduction in peer educators. Each individual had to share their reason for lack of commitment, realising that it could be the hindrance for growth within the group. Fingers pointed at four girls (mentors in the peer educator’s programme) who had dominant and bossy attitudes. Learners were horrified with their leadership behaviour, which is why they did not last in the programme. The attendees were dismissed and the meeting continued with these four girls and the facilitators. These four girls were asked if they would still love to be in the programme. They were aware of their unpleasing behaviour and were therefore hesitant to continue with the programme. However, allowing them to quit from the programme would not help/build them either. Therefore, they were asked to identify things that isolate them from the rest of the learners and cause them to behave the way they do. One of them had a bad influence on the rest of the girls. The three girls wanted to eliminate her from the programme, thinking that this would allow them to lead positively. However, this was also not the best solution. They were asked for an option that would benefit everyone (peer educators, other learners in the school and themselves personally). After a four hour meeting, they realised the importance of supporting each other for a positive change in the programme. They showed their commitment by signing an agreement in each others diary. This would keep them accountable for each step of improvement taken. They would also start building relationships with learners. In this process, there were scenes of sorrow and we thank God for restoration which bore self discovery. We give God praise for the impact the Yazini facilitators have had at Sivananda High School. fin.

 

Thabo caught our attention as a boy with a very low self-esteem. He was extremely reserved and often silent in class. Thabo had been wearing rather tiny clothes or clothes that were very worn and damaged. This amused the other kids, and they opted to make a spectacle of him by laughing at him. As the Yazini team proceeded with personal development topics, Thabo’s esteem has been boosted so much that he has accepted himself. When other kids pass nasty comments or laugh at him, he boldy tells them that he is unique and special! Thabo has grown in confidence and this is evident as he willingly partipates during sessions. The positive change in terms of how Thabo views himself is a sign of the postive impact made by the programme.

There was a girl who had multiple partners with no concience or guilt about living such a life. This girl was choosen as a mentor for a peer education programme in her school. She believes that being part of peer education programme brought a deliverance in her life. She reported that all the positive talks delivered by the Yazini staff members made her realise the wrong in the life which she previously regarded as acceptable behaviour. She made new decisions and commitment in her life and has dropped every unhealthy life as she wants to be a good example to her peers in how she conducts herself. She has also decided to go for all the necessary tests. fin.

 

‘HEAR MY VIEW’ is a component of the Yazini programme. This programme focuses on child participation in the family programme. It allows parents and children to get together and talk about issues that affect them as families.

HEAR MY VIEW is being cascaded to other partners (CASNET partners) which was facilitated in one of the partners meeting. There was one guy (a participant) who did not believe that a child should be included/involved in a family discussion. He was strong in his opinion that there are topics that are bigger than a child and therefore children should not be involved in a family discussion! However at the end of the session this guy made a statement 3 time - “I’m transformed”. This was not the end he went home and returned the next day to share with us his experience with his daughter.

He said as he was driving his daughter to the school he asked her “how do you feel when we as adults make decisions that might affect you without consulting or discussing it with you? After asking the question, he began to regret it as his daughter responded as if she was waiting for the opportunity! His daughter said one of the things that really frustrated her is when her father changed jobs without explaining why or without considering how it would impact the family. This answer gave the father greater insight into how his decisions affect his family. This story shows that HEAR MY VIEW programme is on the right track in terms of encouraging child and parent discussion in the family programme. fin.

 

Self image goes a long way:

Nosipho has a low self image. She is constantly teased by her school mates and class mates that she is ugly. This negative behaviour affected Nosipho so much that she voiced it to the team during the lifeskills sessions. The impact of the pain and anger she endures was visible to the team as they watched the veins on her temple swell up as she narrates the verbal abuse she experiences from her peers.

During the week; the facilitation team were conducting a lesson on ‘self image’ in schools. The aim of the self image intervention was to change learners perspectives about themselves, so that they begin to see themselves as complete and beautiful. After the team conducted the self image and self esteem interventions in the schools, there was numerous improvements with the learners. Nosipho now participates in class activities (discussions and others). She also volunteers in activities, without being told to do it. This renewed confidence is a sign that her self esteem has improved. On the same postive note, the team reports that Nosipho’s behaviour modification has also been consistent. fin.

“In order to fully help a child through life skills training, the school and community should join hands and centre around the child.” It is this belief that drove us to take our networking to a deeper level with the engagement of municipal councillors in our areas of operation. We are so excited as the response of municipal councillors has been excellent. They are committed to work within the schools in nourishing young people by providing all the required support needed. Also, since we discovered that most of the issues that learners are faced with are social and health related, we subsequently extended to network with the Department of Social Welfare and local clinics. This has been a great success to the programme for a host of reasons. The number of learners’ cases that were brought to our attention such as orphaned, raped, ill and pregnant children and youth has been referred to the respective institutions and the necessary/ongoing support is rendered to them. We are excited about these networking relationships and the benefits it has for the learners.

The HIV and AIDS pandemic is a problem which greatly affects the progress of learners in schools. One learner, who is absent quite a lot, met with one of our facilitators and told her that whenever it is time to go to school something comes up to prevent it. It was discovered that the problem is that her mother is very sick. She needs to be attended to with water, food and other needs and this caused the girl to be absent from school. In addition to taking care of her sick mother, the girl is also looking after two other girls in the house.
We are currently trying to trace where the girl is staying so that proper follow up and support can be provided.

Last year a young girl, who was elected as a peer education leader, was suddenly found to be using drugs and alcohol in and outside of school. Members of her peer education group felt that she had ruined the name of the whole group. Other peer educators confronted her about her unacceptable behaviour, especially in the position she was holding. The other members made the decision to demote her from leader until she changed her behaviour and proved herself. She then decided to leave the programme entirely.

This year she picked up the peer education program at her school by marketing the programme, and learners started joining the group. Her behaviour changed completely, and this is being noticed and commended by all her teachers. She also uses her past as an example in class and in peers’ meetings to warn other learners. Seeing the change in her and knowing her ability, members of the group became convinced that she deserved a leadership position. She was re-elected as a leader and she has a big role to play in the running of the programme.